Hey, hey, you're a monkey! (or proto-hominid...) (2025)

The insert to today's paper is an annoying little "American Profile" thing, which I have never really warmed up to...but like "Family Circus", I can't help but read it.

Anyway, today's had a question about Micky Dolenz, formerly of the Monkees. Seems he has written a childrens' book, Gakky Two-Feet, about the very first bipedal hominid. From the article:

Micky Dolenz said:

I'm a big fan of anthropology and was reading about hominids evolving from walking on four feet to two feet. I thought, "Wouldn't it be interesting to fictionalize that moment?" It's about this little creature who's different, with the moral being that it's OK to be different--because one day it could come in handy.

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From Publisher's Weekly:

The hero, a "fuzzy little fellow" named Gak, lives in Africa five million years ago. For reasons he can't explain, he alone among his spaghetti-limbed clan has chosen a bipedal lifestyle, though it earns him the sobriquet, "Gakky Two-Feet." Kids will love his mother's calm acceptance of his "difference," and that she picks fat, juicy bugs out of his sienna-hued fur-and eats them. Predictably, Gakky's idiosyncrasy proves valuable, and the story then becomes a familiar one in which Gak saves the day.

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I really hope it is a good story...

* bangs head against wall *

But ... there was no such moment. How could there be?

Many apes and some monkeys are capable of bipedalism.

There was no first bipedal homind. I guess, logically, there must have been a first homind who never knuckle-walked after infancy, but his bipedalism would not have made him stand out.

Gah!

Dr Adequate said:

* bangs head against wall *

But ... there was no such moment. How could there be?

Many apes and some monkeys are capable of bipedalism.

There was no first bipedal homind. I guess, logically, there must have been a first homind who never knuckle-walked after infancy, but his bipedalism would not have made him stand out.

Gah!

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You mean that former boyband members aren't the most reliable sources for scientific information?
Should I stop asking Jason Orange to explain quantum mechanics to me then?

Dr Adequate said:

* bangs head against wall *

But ... there was no such moment. How could there be?

Many apes and some monkeys are capable of bipedalism.

There was no first bipedal homind. I guess, logically, there must have been a first homind who never knuckle-walked after infancy, but his bipedalism would not have made him stand out.

Gah!

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Tricky. "Just-so" stories have always been a part of literature and do make good tales for kids. Maybe it's the current climate that makes us a bit touchy and desirous for scientific exactitude.

Next, you're going to be telling me that dilithium crystals can't power a warp engine. As if!

Dr Adequate said:

* bangs head against wall *

But ... there was no such moment. How could there be?

Many apes and some monkeys are capable of bipedalism.

There was no first bipedal homind. I guess, logically, there must have been a first homind who never knuckle-walked after infancy, but his bipedalism would not have made him stand out.

Gah!

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[No... can't.....stop.... myself....]

Do you like Kipling?

[Ahhhhhhh!]

I must point out that before we start arguing the toss about the "first" allegorical bipedal hominid that 5 million years ago apes did not call each other "Gakky two-feet" either.

Interestingly, I see that:

People who bought this book also bought:
•Walter the Farting Dog Goes on a Cruise Glenn Murray, Elizabeth Gundy, Audrey Colman (Illustrator)

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Badly Shaved Monkey said:

Tricky. "Just-so" stories have always been a part of literature and do make good tales for kids.

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And some of them have remained popular for several thousand years.

What was your point, again?

Maybe it's the current climate that makes us a bit touchy and desirous for scientific exactitude.

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No, I was born this way.

sphenisc said:

[No... can't.....stop.... myself....]

Do you like Kipling?

[Ahhhhhhh!]

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Don't know. Never kipled.
(rimshot!)

Dr Adequate said:

And some of them have remained popular for several thousand years.

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Your favorite fable hasn't made it 200 years yet. Think it will?

Dr Adequate said:

What was your point, again?

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It was only small point: that they are not necessarily bad stories and there are other ways to judge a story than scientific rectitude.

hammegk said:

Your favorite fable hasn't made it 200 years yet. Think it will?

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And computers have only been around for about 60 years, I wonder if they're gonna last?

Horseless carriages have only existed for 100 years, when do you think we'll be back to using oxen?

The internet? That thing won't last a decade, trust me, I know.

hammegk said:

Your favorite fable hasn't made it 200 years yet. Think it will?

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Finally, a firm position on evolution from hammegk. About time.

SteveGrenard said:

There is a chimp that allegedly can play poker and another one who supposedly sold a script to Hollywood.

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Evidence?

Like...There is a chimp running the country.

Dr. A. said:

But ... there was no such moment. How could there be?

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Apparently Gakky chose to be bipedal. So it's another nature vs. nuture debate.

~~ Paul

Mercutio said:

Evidence?

Like...There is a chimp running the country.

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Here’s the blurb about Mikey the Poker Playing Chimp. They banned him from the World Series of Poker so he's working at a casino playing for the house.

http://www.gambling911.com/080106daily.html

http://www.onlinecasino.org/news/mikey-the-chimp-plays-world-series-poker-online-gambling-1293.php

PR Photo:

Here's the item about a chimp selling a script to Hollywood. I think the title was Secret Chimp or something like that. Look for it at a theatre near you in the next couple of years:

''Hollywood movie studio buys script from genius CHIMP! He's even got an agent!'' (Weekly World News)

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reported in The Miami Herald here:

http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/15210867.htm

Heheheh...Weekly World News is as good a source as BushorChimp, I will admit.

The poker playing chimp...says just enough in those articles (honestly, the request for evidence was a joke!) to make this behaviorist wish there was a more in-depth article on his training. This could be true, or could be a great urban myth.

Mercutio said:

Heheheh...Weekly World News is as good a source as BushorChimp, I will admit.

The poker playing chimp...says just enough in those articles (honestly, the request for evidence was a joke!) to make this behaviorist wish there was a more in-depth article on his training. This could be true, or could be a great urban myth.

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I just wanna know how many bannanas the green chips are worth?

I feel obliged to stress that there is no 'nn' in 'banana.' Whether there ought to be is annother matter enntirely.

I'm curious. What has this -" Many apes and some monkeys are capable of bipedalism." got to do with anything? Apes and Monkeys are modern creatures. We have no idea if they were bipedal 6 million years ago.
(Well we do, but that's beside the point .)

Soapy Sam said:

I feel obliged to stress that there is no 'nn' in 'banana.' Whether there ought to be is annother matter enntirely.

I'm curious. What has this -" Many apes and some monkeys are capable of bipedalism." got to do with anything? Apes and Monkeys are modern creatures. We have no idea if they were bipedal 6 million years ago.
(Well we do, but that's beside the point .)

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So what was the point?

Soapy Sam said:

I can't remember, which suggests the involvement of alcohol, Alzheimer's or the fact that I just don't know what Dr.A. is getting at.
(All three are possible at this time).

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Great, I demand that you supply evidence to support the point that you can't remember, (but feel free to have another drink first.)